We are in a never ending battle again. My self and the monster that resides in my mind. He attacks when I am vulnerable, and unaware he was lurking beneath the surface. He snatches at my heart and then I am trapped in your deep tangled web. You are back, my eating disorder. Your words are slicing my heart open. Your behaviors are leaving me feeling alone, ashamed, and so confused. How hard do I need you to fight to get you to surrender. I thought we said goodbye but you have returned. This wont be for long though. Let’s set this straight because you seem to have forgotten. I have the strength to rise above the setback. I will not allow my eating disorder to manipulate and control me. Don’t rejoice over this victory because you have succeeded in bringing me down. My heart was soften and wizened from the grief and agony you have caused. I have risen. You sometimes make me feel like I can never beat you, but that is a mirage before my eyes. I am strong and you are weak. You are dying down and I am living. I am waiting for the day you will just give up. Until then I am still healing and choosing recovery enhancing the quality of my life and believing it will be okay.
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