Standing for hours and hours
In front of the refrigerator
Not even sure when I opened it
Now my minds all caught up in it
Afraid of mirrors and showers
Walking down stairs like a tightrope
Can’t show them I’m weakening
But my hearts pounding and it tells me
What do I even do next
I can’t even keep track of which lies I’ve told
To who and what threats were told to me
Don’t think I can trust a soul
Least of all myself
And I can’t let go
Let go of control
And dare to ask for help
I still stand for hours and hours
With no sign of letting up
And I’m way past tears
Can I ever let go
Will I ever let go
And still
And still
And still
Standing for hours and hours
I won’t admit my back aches
What do I dare to choose
What will satisfy me
And them
And most importantly the psycho in my head
And the answer is so far from all the same
I stand for hours and hours
With no sign of letting up
And my vision starts to tunnel
And I feel my legs start to buckle
I fight it
I must be in control
I guess one day I’ll have to learn
I might not be invincible
But it may not happen today or tomorrow
Yet I still believe that
Yes, one day it will