In 10 Years

It is on those days

The ones that seem

Endless

Brutal

And lonely

That I ask myself

Where do I want to be

In 10 years from now?

Do I want to be bounded down by my eating disorder?

do I want to be crying under my blankets?

Obeying the laws that ED made for me?

Do I want to still be in

The vicious relapse cycles?

Do I want to close the door again?

To all those who want to help me?

Do I want to stay on the ground?

Allowing myself to be trampled?

Or do I want to stand up

And continue to push

To reach each milestone?

To graduate

Go to seminary

Get a job

Get married and have a family BE”H

Become a part of a community

And spread my wings?

Do I really want to give that all up now?

NO.

Yes, sometimes I miss my eating disorder

But I still chose to fight

I chose life