In my dark dark cell,
I’d never dreamed I’d be able to leave my burning hunger,
Never thought I would ever be warm again.
I’d never dream I would be able to lift a fork and take a bite with out beating my self up.
Never thought I can look in the mirrior and be greatfull for my body.
I’d never dream that the monsters words would die down, from the loudest growl to a quiet wisper.
Never thought I would be able to cope with my emotions, just to feel them and not silence the pain in side me.
I’d never dream that the day would come that I actually look forward to my next meal.
Never thought I would ever stop feeling isolated and alone.
I’d never dream that I would ever get out of the tangeled mess I was in.
Never thought I would ever be able to stop presuing the perfect body.
I’d never dream there was life outside my eating disorder
But I don’t live in a dark cell anymore,
The sun shines bright, and I feel warmed.
I can look in the mirror and appreciate all my body does for me, Keeping me alive, every second, every day.
I can think new thoughts, positive ones, and be gentle on myself.
I am human, a work in progress, it’s ok to make mistakes.
I can allow myself to feel my emotions, no matter how painful they are. They can feel debilitating, but I felt like this before and survived. i will survive this too. No matter how strong or intense they are, I am stronger.
I can allow myself to enjoy my food and look forward to eating my meals.
My heart feels the love of all the people who support me in my journey of recovery and are with me every step of the way.
I am free from the tangled mess I was in because I found life outside my eating disorder.