Imagine yourself standing at the end of a raging river. The waves are slapping against the rock, and rushing down the falls. You are brave. You can do this. You gingerly set up the boat, ready to set out. As you settle in your boat, the water underneath the boat is churning and the boat is shaking violently. You take a deep breath. You can do this, you tell yourself. You wait a moment for your racing heart to slow. You pull on the oars and push yourself along in a circular motion. Your arms are aching and you feel like you are getting nowhere. Your eyes are tearing from the harsh wind and your lips are dry and peeling from all the salt. All you smell is fish, adding to the unpleasantness. The skies are getting greyer and lightning splits the sky into two. An earth shattering thunder that follows moments later, causes your hair to stand on end. Your heart starts racing again and the winds are reaching incredible speeds, making it hard to breathe. You know you can do this you tell yourself yet again.
Just then, the heavens open up emptying buckets of pelting rain. It’s coming down in sheets filling your boat a little too quickly. You need to think now before it’s too late. Your boat is going to sink, and you are going to drown with it. But there is nothing in your power that you can do right now. You have nothing that will keep you alive, but your will to survive. Then the worst happens. You are thrown out of the boat. Your watch in utter despair as the boat bounces along the waves and down the fall, out of sight. Thoughts fill your head as you are being dragged along the current.
You don’t want to die. You want to live but the intensity of the current is tremendous. You think that this is the end. That this is it. But in your desperate attempt to survive, you blindly grab onto a rock that is sticking out of the water. It’s slimy and you have to keep grasping it. The sharp edges cause your fingers to bleed, but you don’t care. How could you care? After all, this rock is keeping you alive. Without this rock, you will die. Or that’s what you think. You continue to hold onto the rock for dear life. The river continues to range around you, and the rain continues to pelt down.
The storm rages and the wind threatens to uproot you from your savior, the rock. The earth shattering thunder continues to crash, and the lightning continues to split the skies onto two. The world continues to live. And you are stuck. The rock symbolises life. You forget about what real life is all about. Then you hear it. A helicopter buzzing right over head. A rescue team. They come to save you from drowning and from holding onto the rock for the rest of your life. They sent a lifeboat into the water.
“Grab onto it!” They call out to you.
“I can’t!” You call back. Because you really can’t grab onto that life boat. Because if you do, you will have to let go of the rock with both hands, and you wouldn’t dear. Because you are terrified to be in that raging river all alone. Even for a second. You have to let go. You want to let go. But your fear is greater. The rescue team is coaching you into the process of letting go.
“Start with one finger!” They call. And you do, and it’s terrifying.
“Another finger!” They call out. And you do, until you are only holding on to the rock with one hand.
“Now you have to let go!” They call out. You grunt. You struggle. You fight. And you let go completely. For a second, you are all alone in the raging river, your greatest fear. Your heart is beating like a hammer in your chest and there are beads of sweat forming on your forehead. But you are strong, you can withstand this challenge, and you do. You grab onto the rescue tube like this is your only chance to live, and it is. Now you have both hands intertwined with the lifeboat. Your key to safety. The key to a better life. Your being elevated into the helicopter leaving you dear rock behind. Now, when you look at that rock it symbolises fear and utter distress. It doesn’t even temp you for a second. Because you know that, that rock holds empty happiness and temporary relief. You don’t want to ever go back there.
Sometimes, you just have to let go. Either from bad habits, or unhealthy behaviors. It’s terrifying to let go but once you do, you will be much happier and you won’t want to ever go back. Once you take the first step, then it will be easier to let go with both hands. Your heart may be beating while you were holding onto that rock, but you were not living.